Picture Caption Fun

(Scroll for a new caption under each photo)

 

Chris Hodges' secret lover and son (left) enjoy family-night out while unsuspecting father and brother (right) look on
"Tonight on Closeup: Whatever Happened To Larry, Curly and Moe? Years after the demise of their popularity, the trio are spotted at a regional baseball game. What have they been doing all these years? Our intrepid reporter catches them in their candid moments."
Excuse me, I believe you're forgetting Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Sean
Connery...
[indignant] YEAH!

 

.....................................Stay tuned...captions coming soon  .................. .................................................. 
 
 
 
Connie: "Rhea, if Betty is going to swill tequila all afternoon, I'm moving to another seat."
Grandma: "Here's what I think of your f****** 'brilliant' idea!"
Grandma, in Rhea's voice: "Oh, Connie, I look so much like Virginia these days!"

Grandma, in Connie's voice: "No, Rhea, you look like yourself. Don't worry. No one will recognize you once we land in Cuba and connect with the Witness  Protection Program".

Grandma, in her own voice: "Oh! My marionette string has broken! We'll  continue our mystery in a few moments..."
Betty: "You mean that's what a Threesome means?"
Connie (to Rhea): "Why did you spit that gum in your sister's hair?"
 
Susan's modeling career may have been more successful if this picture had been left out of her portfolio. I don't think Beyonce Knowles mother would have put her daughter in plaid pants. But obviously Susan's mother liked the idea.

And by the way -- who is that other girl in the picture? She'd probably stand out more if she wore plaid.
John: Maybe if I hide behind the mule, no one will see that I'm not wearing plaid pants. In fact, I'm not wearing pants at all.
All right, no more of this Wagner Park episode!
The cast for the film version of a musical based on "That '70s Show" pauses for a light moment.
 
Pearl, to camera:  "You'd better say my gran-baby is cute as pie crust, or I'll rip your nose off!

Grandma replying: "You rip my nose off and I'll make
you wear this wig!"

[Pleasant banter continues.]
The baby: "Honey, who did that to your hair?"
"Not so great -- just wait 'til she sees MY granddaughter!"
"At last I've topped her!"
"That child is so much cuter than my grandchildren that it makes my hair stand on end!"
 
"You know, Mother, it's been far too quiet in that kitchen."
"The primarily visual commitment of this collection  allows a lot of visual punning to happen, in a good way.  Tom Martinelli's florals don't have a lot in common with Yayoi Kusama's dots, but it's nice to see them shown together. Similarly, the off-registration bleed of color at the edges of Martinelli's patterns resembles, but is conceptually miles and miles distant from, the illusory color-haloes produced by Scott's and Rosmarin's designs, but it's nice to see them together here, to get a feel for just how much distance that is. Similarly, on the most superficial of levels, the acid-Yantra bas-reliefs belong in the same genre with James Siena's dense little folk-art Stella knock-offs, and even with Walter Robinson's you-can-do-it, simulationist folk-art spin. But superficiality, the commitment to a surface that becomes the same thing as the picture plane is a calling to which every painter must answer, though not always exclusively……No, no, Mother. The paintings, not my outfit."
"Mother, I think you can fit one more case of green paper towels over there."
Aunt Jan: All right, "mother" - your KGB cover is blown! Do you think I didn't see this tiny listening device in the lamp? The gig is up, Louiseova Walterovich!   Gram: (thinking) If I can just activate the sleeping gas flowers here...
"Mother, quick!  Look up there!  (Kids, NOW!  Get the emu out of the dining room!!!)"
"Mother, I thought we agreed that Daddy should not be getting up on the roof to contact his little alien friends any longer."
"I'm sorry, Mother, but you simply CAN'T leave those Santas arranged like that..."
[Re the Santas:]  "But she had several small ones all in one group, and there should have been a large one to offset the size and location, and then there was one that was too large, and it caused the whole row to be unbalanced, and then there was the tacky little one that should have been hidden in a cluster or other more attractive ones, and the rhythm of the line was broken by the way she had placed the one with the big feet next to the little elf one, and one should always use an odd number when grouping objects, and she didn't quite have that right................and..............."
"Mother, is that the Rambler backing out of the driveway?  If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, the grandkids are too young to drive to Sparky's!"
 
"I hope they're not making me a suit out of that."
"When they're not looking, I'll grab that and hang it off the roof to signal my little alien friends..."
"The shop is a sophisticated candy store for grown ups.  I want women to come in here and play with colour and have fun."- B.W. aka Mary Quant
"God, please give someone in this world a vision to invent a wireless remote control with a MUTE BUTTON!"
"Mother, I think it might be a  Spam stain." Gramp: remaining silent-knowing that a stain would in  no way justify the purchase of a new tablecloth.
"OK, girls. Toss her up in the air again."
"Haven't they gotten tired of tossing Punkin and Fritzie [the dachsunds] in that blanket yet?"
"I could have told them from the start that blanket-steamed armadillo was a bad idea..."
Gramp, about ready to say, "Don't you think that leftover fruit salad would stay fresher in a plastic bag?" 
 
 
"See, John, it says right here that when the eggs, which are called nits, hatch into adult lice, they will make your head itch."
(Sorry, I couldn't resist adding another line.)

Yvette: See, John, it says right here that when the eggs, which are called nits, hatch into adult lice, they will make your head itch.

John (thinking): But what do they taste like?
"Haven't you found that headache remedy yet, Yvette?"
"Oh gosh, no, Yvette, what the author is implying is that scientific communications are expected to search for truth, while the Truth is no longer given as in (religious) belief systems. Truth can then be considered as a code or a meta-heuristics of communication. In this dynamic system of rationalized expectations new ideas can be entertained and tested, while communications in a belief system must be normatively integrated. Scientific communications indifferent fields do no longer need to be organized hierarchically: during their further development, the hierarchies may have been inverted. The concept of a "unity of science" can from this perspective be replaced with a dynamic within and among the sciences. This dynamics is both complex and non-trivial. Inter-human communication is expected to contain uncertainty, and it can be provided with (interactive and reflexive) meaning. Languages allow for the codification of these relations. Higher-order codifications (e.g., the paradigmatic control of the use of language) can endogenously be developed." [with credit to Stephen for the idea]
WARNING!  Prior viewing of an email around Easter is necessary to find any humor in this caption! And even then this may not be funny!  [reference to a tasteless Easter stunt described in an earlier e-mail]

"There's a prophecy here in the Old Testament about God's children being leaders.  Heyyy... when we grow up, you want to be in ministry?  I have an idea!  Let's gather thousands of kids in a stadium somewhere for an Easter Egg hunt ..."

Ok, now seriously, I find this picture so very precious because it truly was a prediction of plans God already had for John and me!  And I still have that Bible!
 
 
Gram saying to Gramp: "Look Daddy, Barbara bought one of those new fangled rectal thermometers."
"See, Louise. I told you I'd eventually catch those aliens."
<drum roll> And now, ladies and gentlemen, appearing for the first time in this, their U.S. debut, the AMAZING, the ASTOUNDING, ventriloquism of <cymbal crash> "The Wacky Walters!" <applause and cheers>